new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize
