He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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