So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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