I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
