and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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