Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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