I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
