GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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