I just saw a hot homeless man
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
