Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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