Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
