So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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