Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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