wat bout pragnant strippers??
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
