Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize