do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
