Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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