fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
