Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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