therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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