Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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