There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize