If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
