She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
