i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
