Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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