she looked like the before picture.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
