seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
