it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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