it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
