would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
