we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
