I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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