just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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