After last night, I could never be a politician.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i drank out of a bidet.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
