summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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