Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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