I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
