I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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