he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
