he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
