I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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