I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
