im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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