Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
