I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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