Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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