He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
