You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
someone get that fucking seahorse.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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