I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
