I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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