we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
ttyl tear gas
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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