I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you never un-have a 4some
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
