he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
