Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
