I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
