Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
