1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
