roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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