so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Im part way to drunk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
