all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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