What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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