every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
