How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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