Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
