So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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