i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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