i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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